Faith and Doubt

And in the fourth watch of the night, he came to them walking upon the sea. And they seeing him walk upon the sea, were troubled, saying: It is an apparition. And they cried out for fear. And immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying: Be of good heart: it is I, fear ye not. And Peter making answer, said: Lord, if it be thou, bid me come to thee upon the waters. And he said: Come. And Peter going down out of the boat, walked upon the water to come to Jesus. But seeing the wind strong, he was afraid: and when he began to sink, he cried out, saying: Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretching forth his hand took hold of him, and said to him: O thou of little faith, why didst thou doubt? And when they were come up into the boat, the wind ceased. And they that were in the boat came and adored him, saying: Indeed thou art the Son of God. (St. Matthew 14:25-30)

The doubt that Saint Peter has of his ability to walk upon the water is a perfectly natural doubt. Peter, as a fisherman, spent his entire life living on the water and he had never once witnessed anyone walk upon the water. It would be only logical for him to assume that it was not possible. What is interesting about Peter's doubt is the timing of it. In the midst of a storm, surrounded by chaos and uncertainty, he is initially emboldened by the presence of Jesus. The very sight of Christ walking upon the tumultuous waves inspires a moment of pure faith, empowered, I am sure, by the many miracles he has witnessed throughout their time together. 

Saint Peter seems to have no doubts when he first steps onto the surface of the sea. Upon seeing Jesus walking on the waves, he challenges Jesus with confidence to prove His divinity. Peter offers Jesus a challenge that he knows only Jesus could fulfill: Bid me come to thee upon the waters. What an incredible man of faith! With this faith, Peter steps onto the water and finds that he can indeed walk upon the waves just like the Lord. It is a miraculous moment, one that surely strengthens the trust Peter has in Jesus. Peter’s initial boldness is a reflection of his trust in the divine, a testament to the deep faith that had been nurtured over time through their relationship.

However, then something changes. As Peter walks, the howling wind and the crashing waves suddenly capture his attention. He sees the chaos around him, the very forces of nature that he, as a fisherman, has respected and feared all his life. This shift from faith to fear illustrates a profound truth about human nature: we often allow external circumstances to overshadow our internal convictions. When Peter focuses on the storm instead of on Jesus, his fear overtakes him, causing him to doubt not just his own ability but the very presence and power of Christ in front of him. It was not that Peter did not trust Jesus with his life. The key is that Peter did trust Jesus completely and then in a fleeting moment, his faith disappeared. This pivotal moment serves as a reminder of how quickly faith can waver when faced with overwhelming challenges.

Peter’s cry for help, Lord, save me, reveals his vulnerability. In that instant of sinking, Peter exemplifies the struggle many face between faith and fear. This tension is part of the human experience; even those with the strongest convictions can find themselves overwhelmed by doubt when confronted with life’s tempests. The irony is that Peter could walk upon the water because of his faith, but despite his participation in such a great miracle, his faith falters and he begins to sink. Yet, it is in this moment of desperation that Peter calls out to Jesus, acknowledging both his fear and his faith. Peter was afraid for his life and though he seemed to lose the faith that kept him afloat, he must have some faith in Christ if he is asking Him to save him. 

Immediately, Jesus stretches forth His hand, catching Peter and pulling him to safety. His words, O thou of little faith, why didst thou doubt? serve as both a rebuke and a gentle reminder. Jesus understands the struggle between faith and fear; He addresses it with compassion, inviting Peter to grow in faith. As they both return to the boat, the winds cease, and peace returns to the tumultuous sea. Those in the boat, witnessing this miracle, proclaim Jesus as the Son of God, recognizing His divine authority over nature. In this way, Peter’s moment of doubt ultimately contributes to the deepening of the disciples’ faith, transforming fear into adoration and highlighting the profound lesson that even in our moments of uncertainty, we can experience the fullness of faith when we reach out for our Lord.

I desire, dear reader, that these verses from the Gospel can increase your faith just as they increased the faith of the apostles and just as they have increased mine. I hope that in the midst of a moment's loss of faith, we can at least have the strength left required to reach out to the Lord and ask Him to increase our faith.


And the apostles said to the Lord: Increase our faith. And the Lord said: If you had faith like to a grain of mustard seed, you might say to this mulberry tree, Be thou rooted up, and be thou transplanted into the sea: and it would obey you. (St. Luke 17:5-6)

More from A Pilgrim's Platen

To See The Sun No More

Image
I recently traveled to Houlton, Maine, to participate in a seemingly national cultural event: the viewing of the total annular eclipse. It was not a journey that I had really planned out beforehand. The decision to go at all was in question up until the hour before I left. I made the trek up to the northern half of the state that I have learned to call home with a close friend of mine who had also awoken that morning, unsure of his participation in the journey. As we drove up with plenty of time to spare we could not help but notice the immense amount of traffic on a hundred-mile section of the interstate which rarely sees more than three cars at a time. It was clear to us that people wanted to see this eclipse. As rather lukewarm astronomers, we were unprepared for the mass of people we would encounter when we reached our viewing destination.
Read more

Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have Mercy on Me, a Sinner

Image
About two years ago I was sitting in my grandmother's living room, and we were discussing the books that we were reading. I do not remember what books we were discussing, but I remember her interrupting our discussion of a certain book to ask me if I had ever read The Way of a Pilgrim , I said that I had not, and she proceeded to tell me that it was her favorite book. She pointed it out to me on the shelf and told me that I should have it. I asked her if she was sure she wanted to give it away because it was her favorite book. She said to me that she had read it ten times already, and she figured that she would not need to read it again in her lifetime. Fast forward to last month, and I am presenting this book to my newly formed book club. We read it together in a month and spent a few hours discussing the book over wine, cheese, and crackers. My brief thoughts on the book are as follows.
Read more

A Time for New Creation

Image
Morning exists for prayer, Daytime Exists for production, Evening exists for thought. This is a line that I laid out on my typewriter a month or so ago with little awareness of what I was writing. The framing of the sentence seems like it could be a profound one, however, when you actually read it and take two seconds to think about it, it is clear that it is far from profound. In fact, it may be utter nonsense. With that being stated, I will now try to defend the statement as true, at least in my personal experience. Morning is for prayer. I pray the best in the mornings. There is something uniquely peaceful and fruitful about offering your day to God before the day has begun. There is something about spending time reflecting on His word and listening for His voice in the morning that is different than any other time of day. It may simply be that it is the first thing and, therefore, it feels the most important. Or perhaps it is the other way around: it is the most important thing, so...
Read more